Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
