i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
