Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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