I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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