but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
