Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
