Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
