absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
