Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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