Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it's like iHOP with fire
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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