Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
