Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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