Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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