we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
