There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
