Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
