Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
