but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
