I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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