Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize