Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
