dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
