why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Actions speak louder than pants.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
