I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
