Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
