bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize