Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
