i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
