Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
