apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
