shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
