Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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