We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
