i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize