Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
