let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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