I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize