Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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