I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
