So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
