shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
