Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
