Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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