I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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