Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It's just like the Real World with babies
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
