I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
