Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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