But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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