if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
