apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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