Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
