Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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