what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
