Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
