Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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