The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
