My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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