I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
