i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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