I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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