I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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