It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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