Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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