hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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