Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize