Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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