she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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