I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
